David Ortiz is a bitch

David Ortiz has now missed spring training for the second day in a row due to a sore left shoulder.

But here's the clincher:

Red Sox manager Terry Francona says Friday that Ortiz is much better than Thursday, when he slept on the shoulder awkwardly. Francona says Ortiz also is feeling the effects from throwing during fielding practice earlier in the week.

What the hell?

Junior Griffey a Mariner

Ken Griffey Jr. has signed a 1 year, $2MM deal to return to the Seattle Mariners, where he began his career. He put up some great numbers with the M's, possibly the best of which coming in 1997 and 1998. Let's look at these stats:

1997: .304 BA, 56 HR, 147 RBI, 185 H, 34 2B,
3 3B, 121 SO, 76 BB, 125 R
1998: .284 BA, 56 HR, 146 RBI, 180 H, 33 2B,
3 3B, 121 SO, 76 BB, 120 R

Tell me your mind isn't blown by their similarity, and I'll call you a liar and set your pants on fire.

I'm really disappointed he was so injury-plagued as a Red; maybe he would be on the verge of passing Bonds so we could have a non-controversial all-time home run king.


Source: baseball-reference.com

Another reason why Dustin Pedroia should die in a fire

I think I speak for everyone here when I say we fucking hate it how everyone slobs Dustin Pedroia's nob. Oh, he's 5'8", he's scrappy. .326, 17 HR, 83 RBI? Big fucking deal, pretty pedestrian numbers if you ask me. What about .304, 32, 130? Or .292, 37, 127? Or what about one of two guys with 35+ HR, 100+RBI, and an OPS of .965? The point is I fucking hate whoever voted for him.

Anyway, I just found out that his brother was arrested "on two counts of oral copulation and lewd acts with a child under the age of 14". Which I find incredibly hilarious.

Die in a fire, Pedroia brothers.

Dodgers try to get better, older

In recent signing news, the Dodgers signed both Randy Wolf, who will likely join the rotation at #4, and Jeff Weaver (pictured above), who will compete against the likes of Shawn Estes and Jason Schmidt for the #5 spot. Apparently, the Dodgers' free agent pitching scouting only extends along the West Coast, since these guys have played for Seattle, San Francisco, and San Diego. Hell, next they'll probably fire up the game tapes from 2001-2004 and sign Mark Mulder.

Abreu could be in Right at Dodger Stadium

Come May you might see Bobby Abreu roaming right field in Dodger Stadium. That is of course if he can beat out Victor Bojorquez for the position of right fielder for the Diablos Rojos of Mexico City who will be facing off against the Sultanes of Monterrey in an exhibition game in Dodger Stadium this May.

With his prospects running thin Abreu and some of his out of work colleagues might want to consider the Mexican League. This will be no walk in the park for Abreu as Bojorquez batted a lofty .364 in 2008, and has a much better glove approaching the wall.

Maybe the Japanese League may be better opportunity for you Bobby.

Season Preview Seattle Mariners

It is now time for the season preview of the 2nd worst team in baseball last year - the Seattle Mariners.

What to even say about the Mariners - they were awful.

They do have this one damn sexy Asian outfielder though...


However, their best hitter was probably King Felix, who hit a grand slam off Johan Santana. He was certainly better than Richie Sexson who the Mariners paid $15 million to not play for the team. Hell, I would pay Richie Sexson $500 million to not play for my team, so I guess that was a great decision.

Another great decision by the team was to put some new GM in place, one who admits his mistakes. His name is Jack Zoqweirjoweit or something like that - there's a whole bunch of consonants in there and it begins with a Z. In fact, this GM so readily admits his mistakes, he traded the terrible Aaron Heilman (who was recently discussed on this blog) shortly after acquiring him.

In a recent ESPN Page 2 article, a whole section was devoted to terrible Mariners contracts, which should tell you something about the team.

So, what to look forward to for the Mariners this year? Well, Ichiro...King Felix, maybe Erik Bedard who is the first player ever to have success in Baltimore and not elsewhere, and the greatness that is some dude with the first name Wladimir - I feel like he should be a Russian Czar.

The Mariners could try to bring back the glory days by resigning this former great though...



Although he may be fired for inappropriate touching again. At least he has a job talking about A-Rod's steroid use on the MLB network though. Maybe the Mariners should sign this guy though...


Hmmm...maybe Harold Reynolds wasn't the only one involved with inappropriate touching.

Anyway, Mariners 2009 outlook: Terrible, again. However, they have a new GM, new manager, and all new coaches, so at least the fans can look at different people walking to and from the pitching mound to take out Carlos Silva, Jarrod Washburn, etc.

On the plus side, the AL West is not a strong division, and if everyone ever on the Mariners has a career season, the team could finish .500. At least the Twins need not fear them as their competition a la Little Big League.

Yankees, other teams, avoid the 2nd coming of Kevin Brown/Carl Pavano

Ben Sheets hasn't been able to get a contract. Apparently, for a good reason.

Also, I didn't know that Nomar was no longer a Dodger. But check out this gem of a quote made by Phillies GM Ruben Amaro, Jr.:

"Nomar has been great through the whole process, but he doesn't want to put our team in position to bring on a player who may not be prepared to performed at his accustomed level"

Does that mean that he's going to be worse than the shitty player he's been ever since he left Boston?


I don't know either.