David Ortiz is a bitch

David Ortiz has now missed spring training for the second day in a row due to a sore left shoulder.

But here's the clincher:

Red Sox manager Terry Francona says Friday that Ortiz is much better than Thursday, when he slept on the shoulder awkwardly. Francona says Ortiz also is feeling the effects from throwing during fielding practice earlier in the week.

What the hell?

Another reason why Dustin Pedroia should die in a fire

I think I speak for everyone here when I say we fucking hate it how everyone slobs Dustin Pedroia's nob. Oh, he's 5'8", he's scrappy. .326, 17 HR, 83 RBI? Big fucking deal, pretty pedestrian numbers if you ask me. What about .304, 32, 130? Or .292, 37, 127? Or what about one of two guys with 35+ HR, 100+RBI, and an OPS of .965? The point is I fucking hate whoever voted for him.

Anyway, I just found out that his brother was arrested "on two counts of oral copulation and lewd acts with a child under the age of 14". Which I find incredibly hilarious.

Die in a fire, Pedroia brothers.