Reflections on the All Star Game

-Okay, bringing back these Hall of Famers is pretty cool.
-Wait...Ozzie Guillen isn't a Hall of Fame shortstop?
-Did Yogi Berra just call Joe Buck "Jack"?
-I hope Tim McCarver gets punched in the face by Joe Buck...or me.
-When did A-Rod leave the game?
-Joe Buck, who cares if you pronounced "Duchscherer" wrong? No one can do it right.
-Papelbon, this happened because you opened your mouth in New York.
-Edinson Volquez is really short.
-You dumb retards, Longoria is still on the bench.
-F*** Papelbon.
-Corey Hart came to bat with sunglasses at night playing. Someone's on the ball.
-The Giants' closer leads the N.L. in saves?
-See, I told you Longoria is still on the bench.
-It was an uncontested steal because that was obviously strike 3, you f***s!
-Did that fan try to let that ground rule double ball hit him that close to his junk?
-I hope Tim McCarver gets punched in the face by Joe Buck...or me.
-What the f*** is up with Ryan Dempster's delivery?
-F***, extra innings...
-I hope Tim McCarver gets punched in the face by Joe Buck...or me.
-We get it, there's no more A.L. position players; you've been saying this since before Evan Longoria entered as a pinch hitter. We know who's left in the bullpen; you've brought this up every inning.
-Way to tell us Lincecum is out of the hospital. I have a non-gay emotional attachment to him since I've been watching him pitch since he came up since my dad's a Giants fan and he called my attention to him, he's got some dirty stuff, but most importantly, he's on my keeper league fantasy team. Oh, and I just found this video on YouTube.
-I now want to punch both Tim McCarver and Joe Buck in the face.
-Dan Uggla for A.L. MVP: 0-2, GIDP w/ RISP, 2 errors
-F*** Tim McCarver, f*** the 11th+ innings, I'm going to bed.

The next morning...
-15 innings! Glad I went to bed when I did.
-Uggla still deserves the A.L. MVP: 0-4, 3 Ks, 6 LOB, 3 errors.
-Scott Kazmir got his first win since June 27.
-Joe Nathan and K-Rod both threw 8 pitches; Nathan recorded 1.0 IP while Frankie had 0.1 IP.
-F*** Tim McCarver.

Some Thoughts on the HRD...

After I was done watching American Gladiators (more on that later) there was still approximately 14 hours of Home Run Derby action left. I was able to catch the Josh Hamilton show in it's entirety. If all you have to do to become a bona-fide MLB superstar is become hooked to heroin and coke, I'm willing to give it a shot. Somebody get me Matt Jones' phone number. Honestly, Hamilton's story is amazing, and he deserves every bit of attention and praise. Not too many people can get a capacity crowd at Yankee Stadium to its feet while chanting their name. Just ask A-Rod.

Oh wait.
Hamilton didn't win?
That Morneau dude from the Twins won?
But I thought Hamilton hit, like, 83,778 HRs?
He did?
But he still lost?
Huh?

The Home Run Derby has to be be the most flawed system next to the electoral college. I don't care how it happens, but the dude that hits the most dingers should win.

Some other stuff of note:
It seemed like everytime Rick Reilly said something the other announcers completely ignored him. As it should be.

I like how even what is considered the most fun event of the baseball season, New York fans found plenty to boo about:
Chase Utley (Who gave the proper response)
David Ortiz
The HRD pitchers when they weren't hitting their spots.
Evan Longoria for only hitting 3 HRs
The umpires (I didn't even know the HRD had umps)
I'm surprised they didn't start booing God while Hamilton was thanking him after his 1st round performance.

Apparently there's a 'real' baseball game tonight on which the fate of the World Series depends, basically. For as overwhelmingly well home teams have been playing this year, I can't think of anything more fucking retarded than having game 7 of the WS be decided by an exhibition game in which the participants were selected by a giant gaggle of retards. Fuck that, NCAA 09 came out for XBOX360 today and I'm gonna see if the vitual Jimmy Clausen's haircut is a s sweet as his real one. On second thought, the idea of the Cubs losing a heartbreaking game 7 at home is so much sweeter than them losing on the road...

By some odd twist of fate, there was actually a baseball tie-in to last night's AG. Brewer Hall of Famer Robin Yount's niece was one of the female competitors. And if NBC's website was working, I could show you how smoking hot she was. She won last night, but didn't qualify for the next round, so she'll have to go back to being one of the racing sausages. Anyways, this dude makes his gladiator debut next week, and I'm already aroused.