4 Hours of My Life I'll Never Get Back

After being sick for most of the past 3 days I was looking forward to settling in for the White Sox - Rangers series finale yesterday afternoon. What I got was 241 minutes of perhaps the most excruciating baseball ever played. And not just because the ChiSox lost. First off the starters were 22 year old Matt Harrison of the Rangers and '36 year old' Jose Contreras. Contreras is from Cuba, and if my calculations are correct, 36 Cuban years is about equal to 48 regular years. Anyway, both starters pitched like my 11 year old sister. Sure, there was plenty of offense, but both teams seemed to struggle in the clutch and there were so many ground ball base hits it was like they were playing RBI Baseball out there.

As a way to make myself feel slightly better (or maybe worse) about it, here's a list of other things I could have done in the span of 241 minutes:
~Watched the movie 'Pootie Tang' 3.44 times. (which would be 0.56 fewer times than I saw it in theaters)
~Ridden my bike 2,693,635,337 miles had I been riding at the speed of light.
~Driven 57.2 km into Canada from my apartment.
~Listen to Lindsay Lohan's debut album nearly 6 times.
or ~Eaten 1421.9 hot dogs basen on Joey Chestnut's record winning pace at the 2008 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest

Elsewhere...Our man B Hall scored the game winning run in yersterday's 3-2 Brewers win. Perhaps even more impressive, Captain Cheesburger pitched a CG and went deep. Must be all the beer and sausage that is so readily available in Milwaukee thats turning CC into some sort of superhero.

Rich Harden wasn't struck by lightning or viciously attacked by a goat in his Cubs debut Saturday, however Carlos Marmol was successful in relinquishing a 5 run lead in the top of the 9th to the Giants, which apparently proved to Lou Pinella that Marmol is All-Star worthy.

Today and Wednesday are the only two days all year that none of the four traditional major sports have anything scheduled. So what should you watch? The Round 1 finale of American Gladiators, naturally. Or if you'd like to listen to Chris Berman make noises at baseballs hit long distances, tune into the Home Run Derby.

"I'm gonna drink the blood of the person with the fewest HRs tonight!"