Why the Cubs have to win the World Series

After some serious consideration, the Chicago Cubs have to win this years World Series. Obviously, they are currently the most cursed team in baseball. The Billy Goat, Bartman, whatever, other teams like the Red Sox and White Sox have broken the curse lately, now it is the Cubs turn.

The main reason why? They are the one playoff team without a complete douche or asshole on their team.

Tampa Bay Rays: They have a certain outfielder who just can't seem to run out balls and that turns more triples into doubles than Prince Fielder and Ryan Howard combined. They almost overcompensate for this by having Jonny Gomes, the ultimate gamer and teammate. Check out this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonny_Gomes

Boston Red Sox: Do I really need to explain?



Chicago White Sox: What player do all players hate more than AJ Piersynzki (sp?) No one. When he retires, he will certainly be castrated.

Minnesota Twins: Wait, what was the name of the guy who threw the bat at the umpire? Youtube it yourself, I'm drunk.

California Angels (will always be their name): Ooo, look at me, I got a $50M contract for roiding up and being in the baseball's best offense. Now I hit .225 and Mike Scocsia plays a better outfield than I do. Also, angles.com is blocked from my work computer and displays a picture of a seductive looking Asian chick. Not related to anything, but an interesting tidbit I thought.




New York Mets: Jose Reyes - another guy who can't run out ground balls. Also, when one of the most epic collapses in history is pinned on you, you are a douche.

Philadelphia Phillies: Brett Myers = wife beater, Adam Eaton = money stealer

Milwaukee Brewers: At least 3 players charged/named for doing steroids - Cameron, Gagne, Mota

Arizona Diamondbacks: Had a good chance until they got David Eckstein. Who doesn't had that little dude? This picture summarizes the rest of his life. In prison, he'll be the pie!


Los Angeles Dodgers: When you have 2 former Red Sox whose team has done significantly better after you've left, you have no chance. Even Torre can't make up for that difference. Also, you have Andruw Jones and a guy who made more than $3M per win during his ridiculous contract:


2 other reasons for everyone to root for the Cubs to win the World Series:

You know you want this to be 2 Cubs fans:


And, this chick parties in Chicago all the time. I know I won't complain about more exposure to her: