First up, Mike Mussina.
WJT: Way to not suck for a change and get the W last night.
Moose: Uh, thanks. I really seemed to have some good stuff going.
WJT: Yeah, sure. Lots of people are wondering, what exactly happened on the mound after Nick Swisher went deep off you?
Moose: Well, Winston...
WJT: That's Mr. Thomas to you, jackass.
Moose: ...Whatever. Anyway, all the news articles say that Jorge said "He's got nothing" and that he corrected himself to say "Nothing's wrong." Which was true, and I credit Jorge for calling a good game for me. But what actually happened...
WJT: Get to it already.
Moose: Look, don't be mad that I get to party with babes half my age.
Moose: What Jorge actually said was "Look, Girardi. I replaced you as catcher, don't make me replace you as manager." Girardi kind of backed down, and I got to stay in the game.
WJT: That did not answer my question. My question was who is your biggest rival?
Moose: You didn't ask me that.
WJT: Yes, I did. Now answer me.
Moose: Who is my biggest rival? Well, the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry is pretty intense. Those Massholes really support their team. And it is always nice to beat the Orioles, my favorite team.
WJT: You lie. Those are not your biggest rival.
Moose: What are you talking about?
WJT: Come on, Moose. I think you know the answer.
Moose: This interviews over.
(gets up and walks out)
WJT: Geez, what was his problem? Now this guy, he's the REAL moose.
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